Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Second Chance . . (part II)

Do you believe in a second chance relationship? Admit it or not, sometimes, it takes separation from break up to realize the importance and worth of each other and the relationship. There are break ups that don't mean it's the end, it also means a space to breath and be back again. When you both feel it's time for you to move on different paths, then there's no second chance to deal with. However, second chance happens when you both believe that the relationship is still worth trying to bring back all the good and bad memories shared.

We have heard a lot from people taking chances for love to grow again. How can these chances be possible? When you are getting ready to start for the second time, do not expect everything to be perfect. Time to time, there will be challenges that will break you, but what you have learned from the first can help you cope with the present problem. On the other note, second chance should be understood that love is desired not because it's the solution to the problem of break up, nor you fear that you can never find another romance as wonderful and sweet as yours. The true meaning of second chance is being able to contribute - yourself, your love, trust and respect. Second chance also means to be able to nurture. Given the second chance, you are to straighten what was crooked before in your relationship. And the most important thing is: you have learned from it and you love yourself and your life.

Before deciding to make a second chance relationship, it is important to go through a process of thinking and reflection so that in the end, your efforts will be paid off.

  • Is it really love? - This time, you have to really make sure of your feelings. Being in love and lonely are two different things. You must not make loneliness as a reason why you want another chance. This is a selfish reason for your gain, and not for your partner. You can divert loneliness on other activities. Love is the best reason why in your mind you want to give it a try once more. When you are on a dilemma between two feelings, at least try to be honest. Do not think immediately because you are so pressure with time. Take time to think so that you know you are heading on a right path - back in his arms again.
  • Examine why it went wrong - This is part and parcel after a break up. You have to take time to think what really went wrong in your relationship, but never blame anyone of the separation. Before picking up the pieces and putting it back together, you should have a real view of what both of you did wrong so that on the second time, you know what are the things you should and should not do.
  • Learn from what happened - As what is being said, time in time, relationship can have its mistakes and misunderstandings, big or small. You broke up because of some reasons. Whatever reasons that were talked about, it is not realistic to just say, "I want a second chance, let's try it again." You and your partner have to learn from the mistakes that have caused the break up. When you are ready to ask for a second chance, you have to ask yourself, "Have I learned from the mistakes?"... If you cannot answer this question, then go back and reflect. If you are confident enough that you have learned and promised to change, then there's point of going back.
  • Examine what went right - You are to think positive. This means that you should not think of all the bad sides, but you can also think what was good about your relationship. In this way, when second chance comes, you maintain attributes in the relationship that makes it work.
  • Be reasonable - This has something to do with being accepted by who you are, and accepting your partner in return. Being reasonable means being sensitive with what your partner's needs and try hard to fulfill it. Of course, you don't always agree on things but you need to work hard that you both understand what others are feeling. Talk over the things that you want in the relationship, and work it out to make it happen. It is necessary that both of you are satisfied. Lastly, you always have to learn to give and take, that's one of the secrets of a lasting relationship.

It is not all the time that a second chance romance is good for a lifetime. The persons involved must not only work for themselves, but should also work out for the relationship to last. Failure in a second chance happens when only one partner makes the move. You cannot expect it to be as good as new when force is applied or when love is not around. Remember, a second chance relationship works when two different personas meet and agree to one overwhelming thing: that they will forever love each other filled with trust, respect, happiness and honesty.


Anonymous said...

It's a gud n da besh like tips 4 prsons yg in dis si2tion! Like me! Hu3...

NuR SYaZWaNi MoHaMaD NooR said...

well..i'm that person actually..yeah..i had thougt about second chance with him..but i don't know whether it will work for both of us or not..just like the others..i'm hoping that there's second chance for me to get with him back..only Allah SWT knows how much i love him..hurm

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